Happy Talk/. Positive Thinking

POSITIVE THINKING

        "Happy Talk, keep talking 'Happy Talk..' " Laura, twirling around as she sang."Talk about things you like to do..." It's from a Broadway musical," she told us. "And if you don't sing it...THINK IT!"   Laura was a new resident at our senior center, who I describe as a 'bubbly' type... and I mean from early in the morning when so many of us are so groggy from the night's sleep...or lack of it.

"It's a new day " she'd say. We don't really know what it will bring... it looks like it will be a' happy' one."

Lili, one of our veteran residents, raised her hand," 'Happy' is a pretty strong word. Let's just be glad if it's an okay... satisfactory day..." y' know? 'Positive' is the Key word here."

"Positive, schmositive" came another voice from the other side of the room.  I knew who it was but I ignored it. She was the one I dubbed 'Cranky Connie'. She had the opposite outlook than our Laura,

"What an inspiration you are for us," I said to Laura, for everyone to hear,  "today and every day!"

But," added Connie, "not exactly realistic."

"I agree," I said, "because sadness is a part of life...and misery loves company. It does! I wrote a  poem; I call it... "Misery Loves Company." I'll read it to you. I reached into my bag and took it out;

                Misery Loves Company" (so they say.)

                But I think it depends on the time of day

                Not before my coffee. I won't listen then

                to anyone's misery...

                But maybe at ten?

                Hmmm, still too early!

                So you ask, then when?

                Well, maybe after my errands are done

                And I've filled in some hours with a bit of fun?

                Then you'll tell me your troubles and I'll tell you mine... but just some.

                We'll get a third party to judge them and rate it

                It's kind of a contest, but don't overstate it.

                The rule to remember is, 'Tell us no lies.

                The least 'happy' story will win the prize.

                But when that game is over, I'll say this real loud

                Our 'sharing of troubles' will not be allowed

                Until another week has gone by.

                In the meantime our positive thoughts will  abide,  

                But don't worry, you'll see, the days will fly by.

                                           The End

My poem got applause from the ladies in our lunch room.

Sophie raised her hand, " What if I don't have anything  negative to report, can I tell the

good news I have?"

"Sure!" came the calls from the room. which then opened up Sophie's monologue about her

7 children and grandchildren; " Mike's team won the basketball award in the Midwest league,

Stella got a B+in her History final, Eleanor had her 13th birthday party, Stevie is on a weekend

trip with his History class to D .C...".She went on and on, and showed us pictures as she spoke.

Everyone oohed and aahed with each one until there was an obvious restlessness in the room,

the sound of chairs scraping away from tables. "Rosie went ice skating with her new ice skates...

continued Sophie," with more pictures, "Shelley..."

Dina interrupted her, "All good things!"

"Keep smiling" came another voice.

"Even on a rainy day, like today." I said

"Oh, I hate the rain," groaned Connie, "It gets me down..."

"SO? Let a SMILE BE YOUR UMBRELLA"  

"Oh please, spare me your proverbs."

That always gets my favorite monologue going; "Rain is good! We all need rain. Imagine if

you were a farmer, wouldn't you appreciate it?"

"Oh, ok," said Connie, laughing. So I'm a 'farmer', so... what do I grow?"

"Anything you want. Potatoes." I said.

"Boring. Maybe... I don't know... pumpkins. They're colorful, my garden will look so nice."

"Sure, why not.?"

"Well then," called out Pauline, "You're a farmer.  I'm  the Queen of England." There was

applause. 

I waved my arm, "People!" This is not about being someone else." It's about looking on the good

side of things, every day. How about some examples...such as...if you don't like rain, how ..." I

went to the window  and lifted the blinds, " Oh look!  The rain has turned to snow. How pretty are the

flurries falling gently and clinging to the branches..."

"Sure" exploded Connie,"pretty coming down, until they hit the ground. It's worse than rain for us."

I waved my hand, "Again!" I said. "Like when you were a farmer... become a child again

and be happy for the kids, playing in the snow , building a snowman, having snowball

fights... sledding. It's called positive thinking."

" Not my favorite expression."

"Are you sure?" I asked .

"Oh, yeah, I'm positive."

"Really?" I asked again.

"Yes, positively!"

Laughter filled the room.

"But it's not working...what else positive can you think of?"

"Hmm, let's see. How about this; Tonight when the snow is falling and filling our world with

its soundless white magic...we will all be here inside, cozy and warm with the fire crackling

in the fireplace..."

"Sounds nice" came the murmurs from all around the room.

"Uh uh! Still weak!" called Connie. "Try again."

"Okay, how about this,The snow won't go on much longer. The skies will clear, the sun will

come out and the snow will melt. That's positive, isn't it? " 'SMILE AND THE WORLD WILL

SMILE WITH YOU. CRY AND YOU CRY ALONE.' "

"Oh, please," moaned Connie. "Enough already!"

Murmurs went around the room, " She's odd..." was heard.

"I am not odd" exclaimed Connie. She turned to face the room," So, do you all love the snow?"

From every table came voices calling out: "It's too slippery to walk on," was one comment.
"It get's icky".came another. 
" Dirty and slushy."   "I won't drive in it anymore..."

"Well," said Connie. It looks like there are more 'negative' feelings about it. And If I want to be cranky,

sulky, grouchy, I will!"

"Absolutely!" I said, "you have the right to feel, whatever the mood tells you."

Connie stood up and clapped her hands, " Now THAT is the most positive thought you have given all day"!

                                                            THE END

                                    

NEVER TOO OLD

I held my ear, "Oh, no!"
"What happened?" asked Shelly, (without alarm... she was used to my exclamations.)
"My earring is gone, must have fallen off," I said.
"Again?" said Shelley and the others at our lunch table laughed. "I told you" she said," we
 all told you, didn't we? You need to get your ears pierced."
 I nodded, "You did tell me...my daughter Debbie has also told me..."
"So" asked Laurie, "What will Debbie say now, another earring lost."
"She won't know, I'm not going to tell her this time."
More laughter, "Hah! We have daughters too," said one.
"Really," urged Shelley, "just do it! It only hurts for a second."
"Uh, uh, I'm too old to do it now" I said.
" You're never too old! 'Age is Just a Number'."
That well worn cliche, "Tell it to my arthritic knee" I thought. "I guess I think we should look AND act our age...for instance, we should all be wearing our hair shortish," I deliberately avoided
looking at Helen who had long, flowing black hair."
But Shelley knew who I was referring to, " I have to warn you" she clapped her hands, "I'm letting my hair grow AND I'm going blond ".
Old ladies and long, blond flowing hair...uh uh. "Oh,then you'll look like all the girls in the Miss America contest? Or...maybe like Betty Grable, remember her?"
"Sure, and why not? So who do you want to look like?"
"I shrugged, "Maybe Ingrid Bergman...mature...dignified... y'know, look and act my age."
"AGE. 'You're As Old As You Feel', "said  Paula.
 Mmmm, " I said, "I sometimes feel like 100."
 "200!" said another.
 "I like to remember the times I went roller skating,.. and ice skating," called out a voice.
"Played tennis." said another.
"And volley ball. Bowling."
"And bicycle riding, that was the best of all! But I can't do it anymore."
"Some Seniors still are active" said  Marsha, "like Harriette Thompson won a marathon race at 92. So it can be done."
" 'Where There's a Will There's a Way,' "offered Rose and I thought, Yep, today is our day for cliches."
"Tell that to my aching back" said Paula.
Rosie put her hand up," Okay, okay, so there are some things we can't do anymore, but there are things we can do, at any age."
"Such as...?"
And Rosie, true to her form, who broke into song at any moment, sang her answer; " 'Falling in Love is wonderful,   wonderful, so they say.' So are any of  you in love?"
Teri raised her hand.We all knew about her, she and Don met at our Senior Living Home and they connected right away.
"Are you getting married?" I asked her.
She shook her head, " Hmm, maybe, not sure about it. Maybe we're too old..."
"Oh, did you hear about the British couple last year, he was 103 and she 91,and they did!"
"I would never" said Paula. "A boyfriend is one thing, another husband...no way."
Again, applause and laughter broke out, "I agree" said Paula, "And no one could ever live up to my Max. I wouldn't even try."
That prompted Rosie again, "Unforgettable," she sang. "That's what you are..And forever more, that's how you'll stay".
"But having a boyfriend would be nice..."said Fran. "Giving love, getting love...."
"Sounds lovely, doesn't it? And we're never too old for it.." said Shelley, as we all purred in agreement.
                                             THE END

Change...Or No Change?

                                                        Change...Or No Change?                                        

Living with seniors is sooo interesting. One question that intrigues me is; do we change as we age? 

Do our personalities evolve, mature... even  a little? For example, 'If you were spoiled as a child,

demanding  her way with everyone and everything, will you be that way when you are older?"

"Other characteristics, such as short temperedness or the opposite...sweetness and patience?"

THIS from MARTHA, (said with her usual annoyance,) "Why in the world is my hair growing so

quickly? I can't keep up with my beauty salon appointments! I used to have my hair cuts monthly but now I need it so much more often. WHY?" Her insinuated threat was, I'll just take a scissor and chop it all off myself!'
The answer came easily from our PAULA, our opposite personality, " In the summer heat and humidity," she explained, in her calm and reassuring way," the grass and leaves and trees... even daffodils, and lilacs, all  plants grow faster than in the winter time. We  human organisms

do too!... maybe not as lovely as the flowers that bloom in its season... or even the ivy that gets longer each summer. But our hair does grow (bloom?) quicker. So as we must mow our lawns and trim our bushes more often so must we trim our hair."

Wow, never thought of it that way! Analogies between us and daffodils...or grass. I'm impressed

as always with Paula's wide range of interests.   

Then we have our ANITA who never fails to speak in cliches, so the mention of daffodils and lilacs

bring images to her mind; '' Our eyes are the windows to OUR SOUL." she quotes. 

" Maybe so,"  bursts out 'Contrary'  Donna," but what about our ears ?"

"You mean the sounds we hear in our Senior Home sitting room and on the patio?" I said, "The 

 singing, humming..."Sunshine, on my shoulders makes me happy...."

 "Well, I didn't mean those sounds," said Donna.  " I mean the 'ouch's and 'ows',  moans, 

grunts and  groans... coughs and belch' s... yawns... those WIDE yawns, that we can see down to the  throat...those noises."

"Sure," I added, "and those knocks and pops that come from my knees!" 

"What about the expectorating," said Jean. "GROSS"

"The what?" asked Kate.

"You know, 'spitting up' ". 

" WELL, WE  don't do that," interrupted Kate, "That's a man thing." She pointed to Gil, who was dozing in his chair.

"Like him. He makes noises that sound like a hippo sneezing!"

That image had us all laughing..... 

AND, another one, a biggie. Does the teenage girls', notions  of romance carry into her adulthood,

through her middle years and even old age ? I have watched with fascination women in their 80'S 

(and older) listening to and singing along with the old love songs that taunt them still...

'Someday...when I'm feeling low, I will get a glow just thinking of you, And the way you look tonight." 

They sway as they sing, with eyes closed, and lips in the sweet smile of remembrance.

That first crush at  fifteen, it was never forgotten. And then the love in the 20's, 30's, 40's and up,

for some  of us it was now all lost, gone.
While for others, the lucky ones, the memory of that love flourishes and remains for a lifetime.

                                                                            THE END

"RAIN IS GOOD"

  RAIN IS GOOD

"Rain Is Good! Rain Is Good!" I chanted as I made my way around

the dining room of our "Senior Living" here on Long Island. The rain

had just begun and the predictable moans and groans could be heard

throughout.

"What's so 'good' about it?" called out Susan, one of the most outspoken

'NAGS' (my name for the Negative and 'Grouchys' among us)

"Well, to begin, our growing food needs it, fruits and vegetables, our trees

and bushes, flowers..."

" Our animals," called out Norma, " farm animals, our forest animals like

deer, even worms need it..."

"Ha ha" laughed Susan ," and when was the last time any of you  even

saw a deer. We're city people."

"That's true" I said. And rain cools our city streets in the summer heat..."

I was getting impatient with her negativism, Don't you ever have anything

positive to say? I wanted to ask her but I knew better than to tangle

with her type. "And let me add that the rain washes snow away in the

streets, sidewalks, steps..."

Susan stood up and waved her arms; That's right" she shouted, "but I love

the snow. It's so pretty as it glistens and gleams in the sunlight and in the

moonlight, and then that darned rain comes along and turns it all to mush!"

I was stunned. Here she was liking...(loving) something that most

Seniors did not like and in some ways dreaded. It was at the least

inconvenient but especially risky for us to be walking on it.

 A slip could mean months in the hospital with a broken hip, or knee,

 or even a toe. But Susan saw the beauty of the white glistening snow

in the 'sunlight and in the moonlight'.

When our lunchtime was over I felt the need to tell her how surprised and

 pleased I was that she expressed positive feelings which was so unlike

 her .But I hesitated before I spoke, unsure of what her reaction to my

words would be,  " I hope that now you'll have a more positive outlook on

 everything, " I said, smiling.

 She had no hesitation , she just blurted out , "And I hope that you have a less

 positive outlook! You're so cheerful... especially early in the morning...before

 I've had my coffee for Pete's sake! Sometimes you even sing", she

 she added, almost gagging as she said it.

This brought some applause from the room and a lot of discussion pro

and con on the subject. Suggestions came pouring in;  " How about if the

'negative' types and 'positive' types use separate rooms to gather in, Susan's

will use the sitting room with the fireplace and the windows which are

hidden by heavy brocade drapes, and can complain and nag to their hearts content.

Our group  can meet in the game room with the curtains opened wide to let

us view the sun and the rain, we welcome them both."

" WAIT A MINUTE!" exclaimed Susan. "I can't let you think that I don't care

 about our carrots, our apples, our cows and our worms. I do care. And by

 way, I have to admit it, the smell of rain on the grass is delicious."

With that the room burst into hearty applause.

"But" she continued, "why does it have to rain in the afternoon?"I want it

to rain at night between 10 and 7... when we're sleeping!"

"Oh no, " called out Pauline from the rear of the room, " 10 o'clock is too

early.  Don't let the rain start until 11. And never on Friday or Saturday nights."

"And I'm out on Wednesdays" said Susan.

"OKAY, " I said , "I'll ask the Big Man upstairs. In the meanwhile let's keep a

smile in our hearts for whatever comes our way.
                                                            THE END

                       
                       
                                                      CHANGE? ADAPT? REMAIN THE SAME?